Under Construction

We are going Under Construction and coming back BIGGER than that nigga Jiggas bottom lip!  Check  back soon!!!!!

Junes “Not Your Average Cranka” Is Up

 

Check her out; Indiah Wilson Co-Owner of Ohh’s and Ahh’s Soul Food Carry Out!

Does This Scare You Like It Scares Me…

Now don’t get me wrong, I fucks with Wayne (Pre Carter One to Carter Two days rock)  but toooo many tattoos and blunts and pills make you crazy boo… And this nigga is zooted here… Check him out sober and denying the obvious “recreational drug use” in this video of Weezy on The View… (might be even more scary to you) LMAO!!!  Love ya Weezy!!!!

 

We Twittin’ Yall!!

 

http://twitter.com/CoochieCrooks

Follow me….

You Can’t Win Them All… Or Can You???

 

Giirrrrlllll Frienddssss!!!

 

 

As a woman who has many female friends, I look at the women I chose to surround myself with and see all the reasons why they are beautiful.  I know the strong character they exhibit, their many accomplishments, the things they do for their families and friends,  the sacrifices they make for others, and the drive they have to be successful.  

I love my girls; each and every one of them.  Some are professional students who are soon to be doctors, researchers, psychologists, marriage and family therapists, lawyers, and Ph.D’s.  Some are career women on their grind at IBM, Kelley Drye and Warren, FBI, Child Protective Services, BET, and Chevy Chase.  Many own property or are currently in the process of buying properties. Many are teachers across the nation who are dedicated to educate our  youth.  TOOO many are on some C.P.A. shit running Ernst and Young, Deliott, KPMG, and PWC.  And all are just fucking fabulous! There is still just one thing bout these honeys I don’t understand…  In your boldest and deepest voice say “Phenomenal Woman, that’s me” like Soror Maya would to continue….

My Apologies..

 

For those who know me, you know I’m a student and a serious one at that.  Finals were a killer and I needed to detox Microsoft, Mozilla, and Macs for a few but I’m back.  We are about to turn things up for the month of June so stay tuned….

Side Piece Syndrome

 

Go Cavs!

 

 

I met a woman this weekend who disclosed to me she had traveled to D.C. all the way from Lebron and Clevland to see her boo.  She was sitting at the bar at Cadillac Ranch drinking in a bathing suit and pissed off her man called her on a nine-hour bus ride to have her sitting at his job. Now, she had been shopping all day alone and was ready for some TLC from her boo.  He was the top chef in the joint so although the night look pretty long ahead of him he continued to ask her to wait because he was “getting off in a few hours”.  To stay out the dog house completely he fed her well (steak shrimp all that) but she was still waiting, and blown, because he mislead her to believe he could get off early.  

The more Long Islands we threw back, the deeper our conversation flowed. Eventually she told me she was his side woman.  This man had rode her, not flew, her ass across the fucking country from Ohio on a broke down bus where she had five children, a brand new truck, and many things she could be doing to sit in Cadillac Ranch.  This conversation, amongst other things, made me think about what it meant to be the side woman.  Whether you have a full out relationship, or you just fuck on the side  being the side woman ain’t cut out for everyone and really in the end can’t end up being too much fun, espcially when you know your role from jump.

 

Two Way Freak… The Madness Over Textin…

 

 

 

Three Six Mafia Nuccas...

Text messaging was the best thing that could have ever happened for crooks.  Ask Triple Six about a “Two Way Freak” or Raheem about how he “Sex Messages” these hoes and they will tell you texting took crooking to a WHOLE different level.  Alot of niggas in the DMV quit chirping and dumped their Nextels and got Trios, Sidekicks , and Voyagers to step their text and sex games up.

 

Now these crooks can discretely text your ass when they are with their other girl, send you late night messages when they know they shouldn’t call, and ignore your ass when they don’t feel like talking.  We use text messaging on a daily basis to communicate with our boos but sometimes we convey feelings and thoughts that we don’t intend to send. Kiss me thru the phone to continue…

Love is Just Not Enough….

 

Damn CB... I know you love her but.....

 

 

Love is beautiful thing, especially when it’s real.  I know all my ladies have felt that feeling before where the sky opens and God sends doves with harps playing  ”Lovin You” by Minnie Ripperton, the butterflies fly through your Dominican blow out , the sky is clear and you have tunnel vision… all you see is him (or her).  Love is a very strong emotion that takes over your inner soul.  It seems uncontrollable because with out thought or effort you put that person in the forefront of your thoughts and the top of your priority list.  

You could be in Wendy’s or the gas station and you can FIND a way to bring something about this negro up.  ”Girl, yesterday Darrell just bought a four piece nugget and he said it was good” or “My boo always gets the car wash when he gets gas” are things you start to disclose to your friends when you really are in love. (Note: We listen, but most of the time we don’t care).

After a while love seems like an uncontrollable emotion  but, I believe we have a choice on who we experience this feeling with.  Now, I believe there is a Mr. Right out there for everyone but clearly he is not the only one that could potentially take your heart.  Sometimes we fall into the pit of love right onto a nigga that is more like a rusty nail instead of a soft pillow.  

Now the first time you fall in love and realize it was fluke is not really your fault.  We all have to experience heart break to understand and appreciate real love but, if your love life is habitually catching tetanus (Google it if you’re confused)  from all  rusty nails you’ve fallen on we need to start having a conversation about choices because YES you can ( and should) chose wisely who you fall for.  If your here for the Love of Ray J, take this glass…

You Are What You Eat…

TLC!!!

Now ladies,  I know a lot of us are super frustrated about the men we are attracting in the DMV. No jobs, no goals, no cars, no money, no morals, shit sometimes no teeth lol.  Seems like the only options left out there are the press bammas that just want a girl no matter who she is, the boyfriend number one and two rejects, and the ones lurking for someone to crook and carry.  Yea, these niggas are wack but there is one common denominator in the people you attract; YOU bitch!  Now I am a firm believer that people only use people when they are worth something.  If you are attracting washed up scrubs who are just looking for a come-up and a place to stay you must have something desirable but there are some signs of insecurity this crook sees in you too that he feels like he can infiltrate your life and crook you for you resources and vagina.  So we are calling these niggas wack but maybe we are in some ways similar to who we attract…. Pop the hood to continue…